Marriage in Bali
There are three ways of marrying in Bali,
i.e. eloping, by request and by force, Melegandang in the Balinese Language, or kidnapping.
If a man kidnaps a girls he goes into hiding as far away from the girl’s village as possible and as long as possible to have more time to work on the girls to make he agree to marry him.
Kidnapping is dangerous because it is against the law.
If the girl when investigated says that does not like or love the boy and that she were taken by forces the boy she decides on a day to elope. Eloping is usually done right after dark, because in the old days girls very seldom left their compound.Only towards dark could she find an excuse to go outside her compound to buy something for her ready with a kerosene lamp to enter the compound of the girls as soon as she is safely in the hands of the men assigned to take her to the couple’s hiding place.
The only duty of the messengers is to notify the girl’s parents that their daughter has eloped with her lover. Notified this way the parents are not allowed to go after the boy and the girls. They have to wait for another pair of messengers whose duty is to discuss the conditions of the marriage.If the parents of the girl like their son in law they allow them to come
The only duty of the messengers is to notify the girl’s parents that their daughter has eloped with her lover. Notified this way the parents are not allowed to go after the boy and the girls. They have to wait for another pair of messengers whose duty is to discuss the conditions of the marriage.If the parents of the girl like their son in law they allow them to come
home after the wedding ceremonies are done in the home of the bridegroom.
If the parents of the girls do not agree to the marriage they forbid the couple to come home, but they can not prevent the wedding ceremony from taking place. on the third day a small ceremony, a purification ceremony takes places in the compound of the family where the young couple is hiding.
This purification is for the young couple as well as for the compound because by hiding there the young couple have polluted the compound and before they leave the compound for their own home they have to purify themselves and compound.
If the parents of the girl approve ot he marriage, on the third day of hiding the young couple, escorted by relatives and friends go to the girl's maiden home with gifts of fruits and cakes for her parents and family as proof of the cordial relatioship between both families.
Marriage by request was previously done mostly by and among the high caste people.
Nowadays since boys and girl go to get an education marriage by request is considered the only proper way to get married.
Marriage by request takes time and a lot of doing.
If a girl agrees to marry a boy the parents of the boy escorted by as many people as possible to impress the parents of the girl nearly never say no, because they know quite well that the boy comes to them on her request.
When everything is agreed up on they look for a propitious day for the wedding. On this appointed day the bridegroom very ornately dressed, escorted by relatives, friends and members of the community, goes back to the bride's home to take her to his home, where the wedding ceremony takes place.
Before the girl leaves her home, she goes to her house temple to pray and take leave from her house temple deities and ancestors. Her husband also goes and prays with her.
At the boy's home she and her husband face the ceremony or mebea kaon" offerings' purification offerings, to rid them of all evil. After the ceremony is over they both go to the same river on stream to take a bath together. Then another cleansing ceremony takes place and in this ceremony the couple symbolically do everything needed to make a living, like farming and trading. Also the young couple plant in the yard of the house temple a plant that easily grows as symbol that the young bride and bridegroom have hopefully and easy life.
Later in the afternoon they again face another set of offerings;this time the offering are laid out on a " Bale Gede " a building specially made for ceremonies.
A high priest officiates and after having recited prayers for this occasion he sprinkless holy water on the newly weds and from this moment they officially become husband and wife.
very often a wedding is combined with tooth filing ceremony.
